41-50

041. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

042. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

043. Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

044. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

045. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

046. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

047. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

048. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

049. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

050. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.