81-90

081. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

082. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

083. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

084. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

085. I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

086. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

087. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

088. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

089. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

090. A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.